Welcome to the Amusement Park

So for the readers of Hindsight I must apologize for my tardiness in this latest blog but I have been relocating and trying to get ready for my new transition in life. Nonetheless-I was speaking to a mentee of mine that has recently passed to the “little sister stage” of this process (congratulation is in order because many aspire to get there but few make it) and she was stressing about her “now”. During this conversation I was forced to unleash an analogy that I have been sitting on for a while, but now that I have exposed it I wanted you, the reader, to benefit from it as well.

I have encountered many-o-people who refer to life as a roller coaster because of its ups and downs and I must agree with their sentiments. This journey called “life” is a bumpy ride but we all have to ride our own coaster to understand our story. But some of us get caught up in life’s Ferris wheel. The Ferris wheel is a covenant staple of any local community fair and some amusement parks because of its history and size. This ride travels in a circle so the rider is able to see the highs and lows of the park. If done at the right time, the rider is able to catch a romantic sunset and even others enjoying themselves inside the park. But that has becomes a problem in our society. Many of us have sat on our personal Ferris wheels and saw our goals once we reached the highest part of the ride, the path to get there on the rides lowest point and others doing along the way. But the problem is this rides causes us to sit in one place while traveling in a circle. You see just because there is movement, doesn’t mean you went anywhere. In hindsight, I will always appreciate the Ferris wheel but it is my challenge for you to (if you haven’t already) to move beyond that one ride.

the man behind the pen

Cleaning Out My Closet

So on Sunday I began Level Two of Operation Clean Out My Closet, which is dedicated to assisting (me) in getting rid of unnecessary junk so I do not take it to …wait I haven’t disclosed that information yet and it is irrelevant to the story. So anyways, I was taking clothes out of my closet and placing it in a “give away” pile. This is an extremely difficult process for me because for anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE CLOTHES. Why do you think I am only on level two? Anywho-during this task I began to think of the message that comes with this process and no it is not to “buy less clothes”. Often times we see a goal or know that there is a journey ahead and we lug all of our mess with us into this new part of our life. We often categorize these items as things that define us or are needed within our different seasons. That black pea coat with matching cashmere scarf that is a necessary winter accessory; those club/ casual loafers or that fly pair of (denim) jeans that makes you say “mirror, mirror on the wall…Jean Claude Van Damm I’m fine (Fresh Prince of Bel Air).

But that is the thing. When have items ever defined me…When did I become so selfish? You see I am going the be Kyle with or without those items however how far I will travel is what could be compromised. A tree will be a tree with or without that fruit that hangs from its limb however that fruit could be a detriments to the tree if it becomes cancerous. In this journey in your life, letting go of things could be what propels you for greatness…Will (Smith) did it with his chicktionary, Tina Turner did it with Ike and well-you get the point. So for that extra baggage…your fears...inhabitations...negativity…doubt. It is time to donate these items for a good cause. The idea is not to give the actual items to someone else, but it is to tell the story of that item so someone can grow from your experience. You never know…you might like it. Let Go and Let Grow…Better yet-Let Go and Let GOD.

The man Behind the pen

Are You Willing to Fight???

In bible study last week we were discussing the fight that Jacob had with an angel and how he wrestled with him all through the night. For those who don’t know the verse it was stated that

…and a man came and wrestled with him until dawn began to break. When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacobs hip and wrenched it out of its socket. Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” “What is your name”, the man asked. He replied, “Jacob”. “Your name will no longer be Jacob”, the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”

Throughout this season in my life I have been on my knees asking God for blessings and being frustrated when I felt I didn’t receive an answer. However unbeknownst to me, that was the beginning (or apart) of the blessing. You see, struggles can bring you closer to GOD and we are encouraged to be persistent through the storm. To often do we become frustrated and give up before our help gets there… So I say to you all, be careful what you pray for because GOD will bless you the way that he sees fit… Because of that one must grow patient during this walk, appreciated the clouds that he brings your way, and keep your trust in him.

Still looking for Peace of Mind

Recently I spoke to Rev. Boone…(that is my mother for most of you readers out there)…and during this conversation I attempted to school her in bible verses. Now please understand that is like Marcus Jordan out hooping Michael, but for the sake of a good visual I need you all to allow me to entertain this notion. You see I was leaving church a few weeks back and caught myself reading a verse dedicated to “newness”. Shucks the fact that I am back in church is a blessing do to the challenge laid in front of me by someone more influential than I think they know…but so I digress. Nevertheless….where was I? Oh yea newness. You see the last time I was at home there was a new thing going on in NEW Tyler AME. It was a new spirit in the place and it was an awesome sight to see. So I began to look up newness and it brought me to Matthew 9:16-17 which states in the New Living Translation version:

16 “who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before.
17 “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the old skins would burst from the pressure, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. New wine is stored in new wineskins so that both are preserved.”

So I called my mother and said this is something she should preach and as always she said “ok baby”. But as I began to reflect I realized this is something that relates to my life and development. You see, many of my day-to-day interactions deal with people that want to start anew, but still have old cloth weaved into new fabric or old foundation holding up a new building. Please know that I do understand that we base our responses on experiential learning because our experiences provide the Lego Blocks, or Lincoln Logs, necessary for our personal development. However we sometimes lack the courage to spring clean and place our favorite moth eaten shirt from college in our memory bin, instead of continuing to wear a holey shirt in the middle of autumn. Our past IS apart of who we are, however our future is determined by understanding what that means. So for those of us who are trying to embark on a new tomorrow full of new relationships, goals and aspirations, we may want to put our transformation in something that can preserve it. Please remember that two of the three little pigs had to learn this very lesson the hard way…

The man behind the pen

Breakin' All The Rules

I was reading a friend of mines blog (it is titled Serenity…yall should check it out) and she posed the question, “How did you love without fear”. Interesting question and one I would like to supply a response to but am unable to do clearly. You see to me love is best describe in the movie Breakin' All The Rules. You know the movie with Jamie Foxx and Gabrielle Union. You know the movie that had Jaime sporting locks, and writing a book on how to break up. During this movie Jaime was asked, “What does love care about” and his response was simply “its self”. To me that was my ah ha moment. Kahlil Gibran said in his novel The Prophet…

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

It would be an awesome sight to see love as the ending scene to Love and Basketball when Omar Epps said “Best two out of three”; or Love Jones when Taye Diggs said “All I care about is right now”; or when Martin had Brian McKnight sing it prior to his proposal but that is one side of love. That is the side that we cowardly refer to. But to love without fear is to love in the mist of fear. ..because it is scary to lose control and let love and is just as hard to do the same and be loved. It was once said, when a man finds his wife he finds a good thing…but please remember one has to stand on faith and chose to be found. Hope you got your compass.

the man behind the pen

The Narrator

Today is one of those days when the solidarity of solitude and solitary has become the problem and the solution. Awkward I know-but the conundrum makes total sense to me. For years I have played the grown man, I am away from family card but recently I have started to yearn for those times again. But as I reflect back in my life it has always been this way. It is a challenging idea to be away from family even in the presences of family. But my roots are planted in the fertile soil of hope and growth will continue to occur. I live by the idea that “I smile at the world even when it doesn’t smile back” because I am too blessed to shun the blessings GOD has bestowed upon me. And the prophetic reality is, GOD isn’t through with me yet…and no one said that the road would be easy.

The man behind the pen

The Optometrist

I saw this beautiful woman recently who had the most amazing eyes and smile. It seems that GOD was shining a ray of sunshine upon ever glimpse and although I was blinded by her beauty I was able to shade her light so my eyes could consume a tinted version of her grace. I was motionless yet felt the movement of my heart while remaining steadfast in the NOW. Her flaws made her flawless and her perfect imperfections added to this fairytale. And to think…she can’t see what I see. I guess it is time for me to sign the back of my driver’s license.

The man behind the pen